Ridge Insights - September/October 2008
Candor at Work
Ridge Insights A monthly e-brief from Ridge Training
Date: October 1, 2008
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WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT - CANDOR AT WORK
Candor is an endangered species in most organizations, and in many personal relationships as well. While there's an urgent call for candor from organizational gurus like Jack Welch and Jim Collins, the taboos against candor both at work and at home don't change. We are all disgusted by the lack of honest discourse at work, but also find ourselves either tongue-tied and silent or tactless and explosive in candor moments. How can we get candor off the endangered species list and into everyday conversation in a way that breeds more candor?
The best approach isn't always brutal honesty. Sometimes it makes more sense to compliment someone on the new haircut even if you're not crazy about it. But how do you make sure you speak up when it matters, and do so in a way that invites candor in other people? Candor is not just the bald statement of what you believe: it is a dialogue in which both people authentically express their points of view in search of a mutual way forward.
If you truly want to take this on, you need to be more committed to candor than to the alternate routes a conversation can take. You have to want candor more than you want to have people like you, or you won't speak up, or speak clearly. And you have to want candor as a two-way street more than you want to have your own way, or you'll shut people down with your brutally honest approach.
1. Tune into Self-Talk
You can probably think of a time when being candid and encouraging candor would have paid off. When the opportunity for candor presents itself, however, our self-talk is often hard at work planting seeds of fear. It leads us to focus on the worst-case scenario, which leads to us bailing out of real conversations, or defending our point of view with complete disregard for the other person's perspective. If you tune into self-talk, you can change the channel from the worst case to a more realistic scenario.
2. Speak Your Truth
Constructive self-talk helps you stick to your commitment to candor. But what do you say during the brief window of opportunity for being direct? Think of it as an elevator speech: what would you say if you had to get across what truly mattered in one sentence, the time it takes to go from one elevator stop to the next? You won't have time for a lengthy preamble. Be specific. Focus on facts and behaviors. Keep your tone of voice neutral.
3. Invite Others to Speak Their Truth
Candor happens through dialogue. It's not enough to speak your truth. You must listen to what the other person has to say. Sift through it. Show you understand, and respond in a way that keeps the conversation real. When this happens successfully, the conversation transcends individual points of view and yields fresh insights that are mutually owned.
For a more in-depth article on Candor at Work, go to:
http://www.ridge.com/Pub_Article.html
and download the "Candor at Work" article.
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Copyright 2008 - Ridge Associates, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
Copyright 2008 Ridge Associates, Inc. All Rights Reserved.