Ridge Insights - July 2006
Coaching
Ridge Insights
A monthly e-brief from Ridge Training
Date: July 17, 2006
To subscribe: www.ridge.com/newsletter.html
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THIS MONTH
1. What We're Thinking about this Month - Coaching
2. Being Your Own Coach
3. Resources for Coaching
4. Questions of the Month
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1. What We're Thinking About - Coaching
Are you a coach? Chances are that, sometime in your life you've chosen that role or had it thrust upon you. But that doesn't mean that, in practice, you're really a coach. In fact, it's not even up to you.
Our bias is that you're only a coach if the person you're coaching sees you as a coach. Ultimately the coachee is in charge of the coaching relationship-if they see you as a coach they'll welcome your feedback and input. They'll ask for it! If they don't, they'll resist your wisdom.
To see you as a coach, people need three things from you:
* a solid, high-respect relationship,
* a sense that you have their best interests at heart (versus your own), and
* a belief that you have something to offer them that will help them get better in the ways they want to improve.
But what if you're a manager whose job it is to coach people whether they like it or not? You can still do your job: you can manage their performance using other methods and skills. But if you don't meet the three criteria for being seen as a coach, coaching is the wrong tool for the job. And choosing to coach when your coaching isn't desired can damage your standing as a manager.
So are you really a coach to the people you're responsible for developing? Are there ways you can build a better coaching relationship with them? It might be a good conversation to have with your coachees. Let them coach you on how to be a better coach.
2. Be Your Own Coach.
Wouldn't it be great if you could have a coach with you all the time--someone to observe your performance, give you feedback, and provide ideas to improve in the future?
The good news is that you already have such a coach--it's you! The problem is that we don't have the same perspective as an objective, supportive, outside coach does.
But as Yogi Berra famously said, "you can observe a lot by just watching." Feedback is all around you if you train yourself to tune into it. To improve your self-coaching skills, try the following:
* Choose ONE performance area where improvement is possible and can make a difference. Behavior change is hard and takes time. Make your coaching count.
* Get on "the balcony." Trainer Eddie Lisbe uses this metaphor to invite participants to dissociate themselves from the drama and immediacy of their life by trying to see events more objectively as others might see them. How would you describe an event if you took your emotional experience out of the equation?
* Give yourself feedback. Write down how you performed in relation to your goal so you can see (and celebrate!) your progress. What did you do well? What could you do differently next time? What impact did your actions create? Be as behavioral as possible.
* Determine an appropriate next action. What do you need to do to improve? If you don't know, ask for help. Make a coaching request from someone who can help you figure out an effective next step and how best to take it.
Being your own coach isn't a replacement for being coached by others. But in focusing your attention and action on improving in the areas most important to you, it can be another way of helping you be your best self.
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3. Resources
Being an effective coach is a matter of attitude and skill. To read more about Ridge's approach to coaching, review the "Coaching at Work" white paper at the following link: http://www.ridge.com/news.html
Want to be more intentional in your coaching? Ridge can help. Sign up for a "limited edition" of our Extended Learning coaching process, usually reserved for workshop participants. You'll receive a series of five coaching tips, delivered to your email box, to help you strengthen your coaching relationships and, well, be your own coach! To learn more about Extended Learning, and to sign up for the coaching tryout click here: www.ridge.com/extendedlearninfo.html.
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4. Question of the Month:
Next month's issue will focus on managing resistance. Our question of the month is: When you've experienced resistance, what helped you move through it? To share a success or best practice, please use the form at this link to respond:
http://www.ridge.com/monthlyquestion.html
Use the word RESISTANCE for the topic.
We'll use your responses to help create the next edition of "Ridge Insights."
We will not use this information for any other purpose without your permission.
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Copyright 2006 - Ridge Associates, Inc. - All Rights Reserved.
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